Hope Helps Heal 2

Another #HopeHelpsHeal tour complete. A month flashed by like a blink of an eye with many good memories but most importantly got to deliver my story of resilience and survival & spread messages of hope to many people experiencing similar circumstance.

This trip I was lucky enough to tick off many adventures of my life 'to do' list. I proudly flew our 1st Nations Aboriginal flag in front of the White House; arguably one of the most influential and recognised buildings through out the world. I got to hold a baby alligator from the swamps of New Orleans and listen to the sweet sounds of Jazz & Blues in various clubs & bars in the Deep South.

It was in San Francisco I had the honour or sharing stories with my Native American brothers & sisters. Our cultures are so similar in our care for Mother Earth and our cultural belief systems.

The city of San Francisco is the reason I am writing this blog. It is some 15 years ago, my close friend and suicide mental health advocate Kevin Hines (@kevinhinesstory) attempted to take his own life by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Against all odds Kevin survived that jump and it is through his upcoming documentary, Suicide The Ripple Effect we met and I have since had the wonderful opportunity of touring with Kevin around the USA - so in walking onto the Golden Gate Bridge, I had a great sense of emotion. It has been over 2000 people that have died off that bridge, but I also sense of gratitude that my good friend and now call a brother Kevin Hines survived.

Again this trip, it wasn't only the people Kevin & I delivered our wellness sessions in front of, but the people we ran into and sparked conversation by circumstance that had most impact and showed the the ripple effect of suicide. Lauren & I got talking to a lady who was our Uber driver, who lost a close family member to suicide. That suicide in turn directed that lady into care for others and she worked for many years as a pastor, helping people through the word of the gospel.

Growing up a proud First Nations man, I have heard many times the story of the great Martin Luther King (MLK). It is in the city of Atlanta, we call our home base in the USA - the MLK museum, the house & street where MLK grew up, & the Ebenezer baptist church where MLK took up his role as a pastor.

The King Household  

I got to sit on the same steps MLK sat as a kid, see his bedroom, feel the gospel spirit inside the Ebenezer baptist church, and finally sit close by to the great mans final resting place, the tomb in which he was buried.

It is in MLK I thank, for standing up for the equal rights for people of colour he taught people like me there is such things as non violent protests through means such as intelligence.

Nashville, Tennessee  

My love for music as a young man made it all the more special to visit cities of New Orleans & Nashville. Both varying genres of music but the music of Blues, Jazz, Soul & Country is the types of music I grew up listening to as a kid and even more so now as an adult - music with meaning & songs with a story. Being in Nashville & New Orleans took me back to my childhood or growing up wanting to be a blues singer and entertainer & was also lucky enough to catch a gig at the renowned Reservation Hall - bands suck as foo fighters have shot music film clips at RH.

In NashvilleI got to visit the Johnny Cash Museum. Cash' music made even more famous to the younger generation through the film 'Walk The Line' sharing history of J.R Cash & his beloved wife June Carter Cash.

The Country Music hall of fame was simply spectacular, seeing memorabilia from artists made famous by their brilliant music, to many to name.

Back home safely on Australian soil although there no rest for the wicked - straight off the plane to deliver at a your leadership conference.

I got to spend the a much needed night with my beautiful 2 eldest children Brodi & Phoenix with dinner, chills and laughs in Sydney.

I am currently on route to Melbourne to hang out at a local NAIDOC community day chatting and sharing with local Aboriginal & Torres Straight Island mob. Then tomorrow - finally home to Wiradjuri country to the rest of my family; Fiancé Courtney, and 2 boys Rome & Ari - can't wait to take my shoes off & feel the soil of Mother Earth and Wiradjuri between my toes.

Jw

Living with constant Suicidal Ideation - My daily battle

I thought it would be important to share some of the rawness of the thought patterns I encounter whilst in a moment of depression.

I went from a moment of serious depressive and suicidal thoughts to levelled functional thinking, all within a matter of hours. I am also hopeful the studies within the CTE field continue to learn more about the illness.

**warning, reading is a little raw and after a few hours was considering not posting, but realised it was important to show people that follow my journey - 'It ain't all sunshine & rainbows' but equally wanted people to know, those moments don't last forever and with persistence and mindfulness, you too can climb your way out of the depths**

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"Have you seen the movie titled concussion, with award winning actor Will Smith? Smith plays an African Forensic Pathologist who studies the brain & impacts on concussions.

The doctor studies and discovers an illness he calls Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE)

https://www.bu.edu/cte/about/what-is-cte/

CTE is bought on by repeated brain trauma (TBI - Traumatic Brain Injuries) over an extended period of time, with with repeated mild to severe concussions.

Although 'Concussion' is just a movie, if you read the above link to studies, you will notice, as I certainly have, the commonalities I have with professional sports that I have played for some 15 years. Although CTE is diagnosed post death, there have been pre death diagnosed athletes, notably NFL & combat sports athletes (MMA & Boxing) in the USA.

During the past 2 years I have noticed a considerable increase in the symptoms of CTE in my life - most notably, depression and suicidal ideation.

At the age of 32, this scares the hell out of me. Knowing the symptoms and the road CTE could eventually lead to, makes me all the more concerned.

The most important thing for me right at this present moment is to continue to raise the awareness and help others on how to live a functioning life with mental illness. By delivering Enemy Within sessions across the globe enables me to do this, and in turn help myself stay well.

Right now, I am sitting, waiting for my weather delayed flight to be called in Muscle Shoals, Alabama.

Whilst writing this piece I am in deep thought, experiencing extreme paranoia, deep depression, and having suicidal thoughts.

Although knowing the concussion film is only a movie, the mind can't help but wonder into the 'what ifs' - what if I end up like a scenes from the concussion movie - retired sportsman, living out've my car, ending in my eventual death and even suicide.

I have promised myself and my loved ones, that I will never die by my own hands - but as I have discussed many times during my Enemy Within Suicide Prevention workshops; I live with constant negative & suicidal thoughts almost on a daily basis, it is often a huge struggle to forge through the day. But the fighter in me, won't let it beat me.

As hard as it is, it is part of my wellness plan to write when I am feeling as such as writing helps me to eventually feel better.

I am now sitting on the airport runway in a tiny plane, rain and wind outside,again with the negativity bellowing at me with my thoughts. Each breath I know that these thoughts aren't a reality, I grip my hands and breathe in slowly with another one of my coping mechanisms 4, 7, 8 - inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds & exhale for 8 seconds.. By doing this, lowers your heart rate & brings you to present.

I guess if you are reading this, we landed safely, the mind settled & I'm back in the fight once more.

Every single Day, I make that choice, to fight the battle against an enemy that in embedded deep within each thought; thought that continues to tell me I'm no longer worthy to exist on earth - that everyone around me would be in a better place with me not being alive.

I'll continue to fight...

It Battle Me; It Won't Beat Me"

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Tomorrow is a new day...

JW

Ben Cousins - the guy needs help before it sadly ends

In the USA some people may not have heard of an Australian sportsperson called Ben Cousins; but in Australia the former Australian Rules (AFL) star is becoming well known for his off field antics rather than his ability to bring crowds of thousands to their feet with his dazzling footballing and athletic abilities.  

Ben cousins in action for the West Coast Eagles

For almost 10 years now, we have read newspaper articals of Cousins' misdemeanours away from the sporting arena with many saying 'oh not again' - the disappointing thing I read amongst many social media updates is 'what a legend' 'this guy knows how to party' 'wish I could party like him' etc ect - the sad thing is that while this former elite athlete, former role model to thousands across the country appears to be struggling with some serious mental illness & addiction problems. 

During my work in USA it has been commonly talked about having substance abuser disorder is commonly treated as a mental illness. Addiction is set off by a chemical imbalance within the brain which causes the individual to crave such substances as alcohol & drugs; baring this in mind, we see Ben Cousins in the media once again appearing to be disorientated in the middle of a highway, and later taken to hospital.

 http://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/ben-cousins-has-reportedly-been-taken-to-hospital-after-an-incident-with-police/news-story/299306dc791a41b010300c29fcaf6298

In reading media articals of Ben Cousins I don't see a one off case of a guy having one too many drinks - I see a man who is struggling with some inner demons of his own. 

A repeat offender, with that appears to have serious addiction problems. 

 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Cousins

I fear this former sports star and Australian icons demise will soon come to an abrupt holt, with possible serious repercussions, with someone being seriously hurt or Cousins or a bystander ending up dead. 

That is the harsh reality of addiction disorders, many times we see the individual not treated or recognised before it becomes to late.  

Ben Cousins deserves to be applauded for his athletic abilities in which he worked tirelessly to achieve; sadly I see it as a possibility and eventual reality, many mourning the death of a one time idol who has gone through many years battling demons & addictions....

I pose you this question; substance abuse disorder (addictions) are a co-morbidity with mental illness; would we see an individual with schizophrenia, going out having a party for days, stopping traffic on a highway and taken  to hospital - hailed as a 'top bloke' for having  good time? Or would public perception demand that he be treated for his illness? 

JW

Muhammad Ali - RIP GOAT

Muhammad Ali - RIP GOAT

On touching down in the USA a couple weeks ago, I was greeted with the very sad news of the passing of who many believe, myself included - the Greatest Of all Time (GOAT) American boxing superstar and civil rights hero Muhammad Ali.

In the last week or so, the GOAT was laid to rest in his final resting place. Many hall of fame boxers and Hollywood A listers were in attendance with his Pall bearers man like Mile Tyson, Lennox Lewis, Will Smith - to name a few.

I searched for many days trying to find footage of the eulogy tribute from comedian Billy Crystal. In finding the tribute from Crystal, you felt a sense of gratefulness to have witnessed footage of such a beautiful man in Ali.

In paying tribute to Ali, I think about many great moments in the history of boxing, such as the brutal fights between Ali & Frazier, Ali & Foreman - but also comes to mind a recent conversation I had with my great friend Kevin Hines; who told me a story taught by his father about the infamous tale around Sonny Liston 'laying down' in his bout with Ali.

Mr Hines (Patrick) told his boy Kevin, who was going through some particular hard times in his life at the time, 'when faced with tough times in your life, you can be one of two people - Ali or Sonny Liston - in reference to Ali, was to stand & fight; or lie down and & be defeated - not defeated by Ali, but by his own inner demons; his enemy within. In finishing Mr Hines gave a small statue to his boy & said the words; 'Kevin you are in 2ft of water & you are drowning, all you must do is stand'.

To this day, Kevin still proudly displays the wooden ornament amongst his most prized awards & possessions.

It is quite clear that Ali impacted on Kevin, from a young age until this present day.

The reflection of Kevin's story, took me back immediately to the very reason I love being inside the four walls of a boxing gym. Not only did boxing teach me how to hold my hands up ok, it taught me how to win against the inner demons that plague my mind every single day.

It is within these walls of a boxing gym do I get a sense of strength, which holds me in good stead for the outside world.

In tribute to Ali I acknowledge not only the superior athleticism to most boxers of his age, he was revolutionary in ability to make a man miss the target with his coordination, hand-eye speed & footwork.

It was Ali's well documented deflection from the US military when he refused to go to war & his resilience to remain to his word is one of the main reasons I see this man as a hero - a hero in sports & a hero for humanity.

In refusing to go war, Ali stayed true to his morals by saying - he will not go to war to kill a man, and noted, other people of colour whom he had no disagreements with.

Ali, a humanitarian hero, paved the way for many to stand up and be true to their morals, not just because he was a sporting icon around the world - but because he was just a man who remained strong to his moral belief and not let the rest of society sway his decisions.

Their is something in this for all of us!

Liston decided to lie down in the 3 feet of water and lose his battle; Ali chose to not only stand, but he chose to fight, win & lead many millions of people throughout the world on s path to peace.

Rest Easy - GOAT

Cassius Clay, Muhammad Ali

Anxiety - How to control it..

What if I told you it is possible to rid your anxiety jus let by  training yourself to change your thought patterns.

Many people around the world struggle on a daily basis with anxiety; the mind races, begins to spiral and for many can lead them to a crippling anxiety attack.

For many years, I was one of those people - and through careful management, I have learnt to control my thought process so it doesn't get to the point of spiralling outve control, leaving me breathless and at times unable to function.

Are you one of these people??

What if I shared with you the simplest of tips & with hard work, because it is hard - you could keep your anxiety to a minimal level - you would try it right???

It came with a conversation with my Dad did the penny drop. My father told me, there is no such thing as the future - only the past, and the present. Living in the present is key.

By meaning there is no such thing as the future, he meant that - anything we think about in the future, is only that; a thought!!

Anxiety is heightened by extreme thoughts about the future - think about a time you have had an anxiety attack...

I tend not to call it anxiety - I call it a case of the 'what ifs'. Anxiety spirals when you have severe thoughts about the 'what ifs' - what if this happens, what if that happens, what if I don't get the job, what if my child dies, what if I die.. The 'what ifs' get so severe that you are all but convinced of the negative outcome.

It is when we are in this critical time of thinking are we engulfed by an Anxiety attack.

The truth is - we have no control of the outcomes of the situation in the future, only situations of the present.

The key is to get in control of your present, by doing something physical,  in reality, rather than in your thoughts or your mind. Mindfulness tips such as rubbing your thumb and index finger together, fast or slow, hard or soft - thins physical action enables your mind to think present and concentrate on the task at hand. Feel the grooves in your fingerprint, the heat it is generating by the constant friction of rubbing together.

Another is sit or stand in quiet and be mindful of your body parts on yr body; your feet touching the souls of your shoe, you feet covered in the warmth of your socks, if you are seated, what part of your body is touching the chair, all while slowing your breathing, to the point you can actually hear your self breathe. A good one to use with breathe work is a technique my good friend Kevin Hines taught me; 4-7-8 inhale 4 seconds hold 7 seconds & exhale 8 seconds - this enables  the body to relax, lower your heart rate &

blood pressure; or you can combine two techniques, physical mindfulness and the counting of breathing.

The mindfulness and breathing brings you back to paying attention to how your body is feeling, your breathing & it brings you back to present.

By learning to live present will enable you to build on your mental strength and not get lost in the 'what ifs'

Another thing is - anxiety is majority heightened by negative thoughts, which leads to the spiral. Learn to back your negative up with a positive action. How you do that is through gratefulness. Whenever you have a negative thought - I get engulfed by them every day; constant negative & suicidal ideation - but I learn to listen to my breath, by listening to my breath gives me a Sense of gratitude to be alive and share my message everyday.

The keys are living present & acknowledging you have no control over the future, only what you are doing in this exact present moment

JW

Why Is Mental Illness Seen As Negative

Why is it that when we hear of a violent crime - people think the perpetrators have Mental illness?

When our sports stars commit a crime or a negative behaviour - we blame mental illness

When we see or hear of mental health facility we think - the people inside are 'locked away' & are insane, nuts, crazy

Many people often hide Mental health & substance abuse problems - substance use disorder problems, because having these illnesses - we are blamed for..

Media can have a hugely positive effect on public perception when it comes to mental illness, We hear many media reports; in particular negative stories around mental health.

I am an individual who battles day in & day out with depression, constant negative & suicidal thoughts on a daily basis & have been quite open about my struggles with Mental Illness - I am someone who lives and breathes a positive lifestyle, helps many people in times of crisis and often described as someone who is inspirational to certain people in times of need. One would say I am a positive person...

Yet a person who struggles with a mental illness is often described, judged & talked about in a negative manner.

We hear words such as STIGMA used when the topic of mental illness comes up, we also should use the word DISCRIMINATION. Not in the terms of race or skin colour, but many brothers & sisters who live and battle their inner demon are discriminated against because of an illness they suffer from. We don't see people discriminated against when they have heart disease, or cancer - because they are physical illnesses, yet we put down, talk negatively & often discriminate against who have mental illness.

In my work in the USA, I have learnt more about the term substance use disorder; or in layman's terms, alcoholic or drug addict.

We discriminate against those who have substance use disorder, or a person who drinks too much or takes drugs - we also lock them up, often with little to no rehabilitation...

Would we ignore, a physical illness, or lock someone away for liver, heart or lung disease??? Definitely not in my experience, so why do we often hide, lie or mislead when it comes to mental illness???

I believe we need to look at how we perceive people with mental illness in the media and as individuals, look at the language we use when talking about or describing mental illness.

I am an individual who is lucky to have caught my addiction and alcohol abuse problems at an earlier than average age, and learnt to keep my mental health demons at bay but I ask you this...

If you answered the door to me asking for help as I wasn't feeling mentally well, and you answer the door to a homeless, alcoholic, drug addict in a bout of depression asking the same problem;

Would you treat us both with the same amount of content, safety & care & what is the difference between the two individuals???

The answer should be is YES you should treat us both the same, the only difference is - I have a home to live in & I know how to manage my mental health, the other doesn't...

The negative perception and care, is the very reason there is STIGMA & DISCRIMINATION attached to living with mental illness.

World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conference - Roturua, New Zealand - #WISPC

World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conference - Roturua, New Zealand - #WISPC

​connection - is the single most significant word that could sum up my time at the #WISPC2016.

​A cultural gathering from First Nation, Indigenous peoples from across the globe. I feel extremely honoured to partake in such an important event, as right across the world map, it is our First Nations Indigenous peoples all face high suicide rates with our peoples.

The conference bought together both youth and adults under the one venue roof but in separate sections, in order to open separate conversations as to why our rates are so high & what preventative measures we can collectively put in place to help heal our communities from the hurt n loss of a loved one who has died by way of suicide.

​I have always known how musically talented NZ Maori are, but to hear over 500 Individuals sing with the beautiful harmonies was truly spine tingling. A beautiful sight and amazing sound.

​The conference speakers bought together a range of statistic based data and lived experience through attempts to bereavement - a massive range of experience.

No matter if the person next to us were a stranger, we would reach out and cuddle an upset person as I mentioned before, a connection that is hard to understand or document as its a feeling rather than an action.

​Day 1 - delivered to the youth section, there were a number of students and young ppl. I spoke of many topics, mostly my resilience to stay in the grind when my mind would tell me otherwise. Many students remained bedind to have a chat because of the nature of the speech, especially around this topic of suicide.

​There was a fair contingent of our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander mob attending so it was great to see and know some familiar faces.

​Having touched on the word connection earlier, I found it profound just how spiritually connected our first peoples from around the world are. Having met some of the people for the first time, after a short conversation, you could feel how close, emotionally & spiritually connected we are. Many connections, from our rituals & smoking ceremonies, our belief systems, song & dance ceremonies & connection to the land, our Mother Earth.

The major connection & the main reason we were all bought together was the impact suicides were having on our communities.

​The same issues of racism, generational trauma, among many other issues. A common thread was not diagnosed mental illness, but generational oppression from all cultures having our land and culture stolen away and continuous disempowerment by the national governments

​In sharing our stories - between our group of First Nation Australians & many peoples from across the globe, they could not believe the treatment that still goes on with many of our communities, & the sad thing is, many non Indigenous Australians have no idea as its not printed in mainstream media or television news outlets - and we are often seen as whinging or crying poor.

We shared how it is our brothers & sisters in Northern Territory are living in a modern apartheid - where blacks are forced to live off basics cards for food and groceries, forced to wait outside licensed establishments not allowed to be served due to colour of skin or because they have met their 'quota' for the day. Our brothers & sisters from across the seas, could not believe our incarceration rates - many locked up for petty crimes on their 1st offence. We even received comment of 'we thought we had it tough, it's disgusting and disrespectful how your people are treated'

​Our replies to many empathetic comments was that 'we will continue our fight' as our old people have done for 228 years - one day at a time, we will continue to our fight path back to cultural recognition and representation in communities throughout our country, because it 'Always was; always was - Aboriginal land'

​I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to deliver a 1 hour keynote on the main stage about my story of life, family, sport, our culture & my story of suicide. I was so honoured and grateful to be able to share struggles with people from around the world and being able to light the candle of hope for each and every one of those in the room - & fortunate enough to share my story for many who had no idea of who I am, my background or my story. My keynote was also live streamed and many family & friends were able to view live as many of them have not seen me deliver my messages live to an audience - the feed thus far has had 30 shares & reached over 11,000 people.

Stream can be seen here

https://www.facebook.com/TheEnemyWithinJoeWilliams/videos/918526781590616/

As I write this on the plane on my way home to Australia, I get a sense of determination to stay in the fight for our survival every single day, survival of culture and of self - in outing racism, oppression and of course, help to end the pain and sadness of suicide across our communities. One thing that rang loud and clear with me in a conversation with one of the Maori aunties - 'you have to stay at it, stay in that fight for your people today, the youth & elders & most importantly your ancestors who have passed before you - we here (in New Zealand) were in the same position as you guys about 50 years ago, the Pahkia (white man) will soon realise how beautiful your true culture is & your people are, & we will walk as one throughout the world.

​The conference was a loving & spiritually powerful few days - I am so grateful to be alive to share my story and as I reflect on my way home, tomorrow I continue my journey of helping others who battle mental illness & the pain of suicide & suicidal ideation across the globe.

​Tomorrow I join my close friend Lauren Breen Tolkin (www.laurenbreen.com.au) as we jet off to USA to our join our US family Kevin Hines (www.kevinhinesstory.com) & his very cool wife Margaret on yet another month long speaking tour - bringing people hope; because HopeHelpsHeal!!! #HopeHelpsHealTour

Stay Well

JW

My Culture Keeps Me Alive & Well In My Battle With Mental Health

As I sit & ponder the 'what could have beens' in life I am so very thankful for every single knock, put down, set back, break up I've ever had - as silly as it sounds, even the day I had my suicide attempt - for they have all played part in exactly where I am today.

This coming week, I am very excited and extremely thankful to be heading across to New Zealand, to deliver a keynote address at the World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conference and also the World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Youth Summit - both to be held simultaneously in Roturua, New Zealand.

It is approximately 4 years ago when I believed with all my being that I didn't deserve to be alive any longer - I was fighting an attack on my brain, called mental illness; Bi Polar Disorder & Severe Depression with at times Anxiety also.

I remember the day like it were yesterday, the most vivid flashbacks of the day I attempted to end my life.

It is hard to believe that 4 years on from what was the most difficult day & time in my life, has bought me to today, where I learn to live with & manage my mental illness and I am heading home on a plane to back to Wiradjuri country where I will pack my bags and firstly fly out to New Zealand to the Indigenous (First Nations People's) conference and then on to America for a month long speaking tour (#HopeHelpsHealTour) which includes stops in Washington DC, Nashville, New Orleans & Atlanta just to name a few.

In the days leading up to my suicide attempt, I was hoping so much that someone, anyone would understand and help me to find light - so I wouldn't be thinking and stepping into the dark places I were headed.

Now, today I am that beacon of light & hope for others in the same position. I get to travel Australia & throughout the world, interacting, educating & sharing my experience and helping others. Talking from a vivid lived experience of constant suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts so deafening and real that they sound like voices talking to me - I get to tell people, 'they are going to be ok, it will pass' because I know from experience they do.

A huge part & I believe the most significant part in my recovery, has been the reconnection & reawakening in my self journey of my Aboriginal culture.

Connecting to culture has been the most significant benefit in my mental health journey

In New Zealand this week, part of my delivery will concentrate on the importance of how culture has helped in my recovery.

Part of my keynote I will launch a short clip showing the power of connection to culture through dance - a film I will showcase after the conference to the general public.

For 60,000 years our 1st Nations people did not battle with Mental Illness, Alcohol & Drug addictions. Our people respected, lived, loved, cared for each other & the land. In my reconnection I have found a comfort & clear head that allows my spirit to be free.

Like the boxing ring, dance & culture are the only things that enable my mind to be free

Through our song lines, dance, connection to self, ancestors, others, land, spirit and our ancient Lore I am in a much more settled and safe self.

I believe there is something in this for all of us, no matter race or religion.

I am so lucky I survived, I am so lucky I am still around - I have my second chance at life, helping people and spreading a message of hope and management of mental illness.

The past 15 years of professional sport have been fantastic but I truly believe the next 15 will be revealed as my purpose in life.

Addiction is a mental illness - so why is it we don't treat alcohol, drugs & gambling addictions as illness

There is a fine line between, selling a story in the media & being detrimental to someone's mental health and wellbeing.

I woke up to the media once again selling papers on the back of some negative press around the NRL.

Kieran Foran has been public about the struggles with mental health that he is enduring this season - the latest headlines have centred around a gambling addiction.

When will people begin to realise that addiction, be it alcohol, gambling or drugs - is a form of mental illness. This man, Kieran Foran is struggling with issues that are an attack on his brain - why do we find it newsworthy or even possible to almost ridicule a human being who is struggling with such an illness.

If a player is diagnosed with cancer we come out as a community and within the media to support, love, care and show empathy towards the player, yet when it's mental illness we still continue the same conversations that had lead mental illness to be stigmatised for so long..

With cancer, or any type of physical illness - we medically treat it, show love and empathy toward the player and the family; when are we going to start treating these illnesses instead of splashing it on newspapers and making mockery out of what the individual is experiencing..

Drug addiction, alcohol addiction & gambling addictions are all forms of mental illness - let's open the conversation to support  & treat the people in need!!

Jw

Today proved this illness I carry is alive and kicking..

​Today proved this illness I carry is alive and kicking..

I set off on the road at 6am from Dubbo after spending a positive night before playing music at a local establishment. I had planned this trip to deliver a workshop on resilience and leadership.

Despite taking over 5hrs in the car down, I am usually bright, positive and enthused to deliver each session - today felt a little different.

Today the negative drone of thoughts, seem to overpower every point of my day - once again, the constant chatter of negative thoughts seemed so loud that it began to affect my physical appearance. I was shaking, rocking back and forth, arguing with my own self...

I was due to deliver my session on resilience in front of a packed room, when I had the thought - how on earth can I share my strengths and journey in resilience when I couldn't bare to stand in front of anyone and share anything???

I said to myself - Joe, this illness is real, and it can effect you at any stage of the day - today was evidence of this - don't pretend or put on a poker face, I encourage people to talk when they aren't well - now is my time to live that message!!!

I had to...

I got up and delivered a heartfelt message of not only who I am and my story - but also how I was feeling, how I didn't want to be there, how I almost walked away to my car 3 times to drive 5hrs home and how the negative I've been overwhelmed with all day - almost stopped me from speaking and sharing my story!!

As much as everyone needed to hear my story today and the positive work I do, it was even more important to share that I carry this illness everyday is alive and if not careful at can get you at any vulnerability.

The reason I encourage people to talk about their problems, is because it helps. Today, second by second and minute by minute during my presentation the negative thoughts began to weaken, the sweat on my brow dried up and I was sharing with the confidence and positivity I deliver in every session.

Today was a lesson that, my illness is alive within me and no matter how hard my day may seem I can recite my favourite quote...

It May Battle Me; But It Won't Beat Me

Huge thanks to my great friends Ali Taylor (TopTenNight) Sam Webb (LIVIN) Greg Van Borsum (GVB-MindWarrior) for their awesome support for me today!! 

JW