By the time I will have posted this; it will be read in the past tense, I wrote this when I was out bush in central NSW, with no signal on my phone, social media & pretty much cut off from the outside world.
I am laying in an open swag, under the stars with nothing but the sounds of nature. It's more than what I wanted, it's what I needed.
The bush is my university, where I learn the most & learn mostly about myself.
I was coming off a fairly tough week & had come to some realisations have been navigating me through the path life. Getting away from the bright lights and connecting to myself is what I needed.
As you know I struggle with horrific Suicidal ideation, but my biggest healer, my medicine, is connecting to country, Mother Earth and my culture.
As I sit around the fire this evening, staring deep into the flames; the head noise eases and I am back to my safe place.
Sitting and sharing stories, learning from respected uncles learning about the old ways and how they will help mend a united future, & the reassurance of how love respect & sharing is the key to unity.
I ask myself, why wouldn't anybody want that? Surely everyone wants a caring love and respect for all???
My wellness has been great the past month or so but I hit a hurdle, these hiccups can hinder us, or help us - I'm determined to have mine help; to learn and to grow..
Each bad day, I find gratefulness and I find a lesson; on how can I learn from it.
I'm learning from those bad days, and in learning from those bad moments, I find strength.
In learning, and growing, you realise you can do it - no matter how many times I feel myself slip back down, it's never as low as it once was - in that I'm reminded me of my strength and willingness to forgive the day, and rip in again tomorrow.
As I always say - it tries every single day;
It May Battle Me; But Won't Beat Me