The Enemy Within

Wow, where do I begin..

This is my 1st blog, so go easy - even if it is only viewed by 5 ppl that's 5 more than yesterday...

My journey with 'The Enemy Within' has only been public for approximately 16months & it's been a whirlwind - highs of helping people, to the lows of tears & even a stint in the Mental Health ward; but I wouldn't change a day.

It all started when, a now close friend Simone Dowding, approached me & wanted to tell my story; what made me do what I do, and why I am like I am..

for the most part, many thought they knew/know the 'real' me. Still, for the most part only a handful of people actually know the real me - many think they do, but I am a very complex individual & there are many layers to what makes up the real me.  

Why im so guarded, is still very much tucked away deep inside - another time maybe.. 

when chatting with Sim over a number of weeks, the vision took many directions, from a guy in a local town who went ok at sport, to a guy who trained many in his boxing gym, to a guy that always gave time to various charities, which inevitably made up and helped control an inner demon that drove me to the brink with a suicide attempt in 2012.

I guess the time was right to tell the world the big secret I had been hiding for many many years - The one thing I have battled my life, with the constant thoughts of life being too hard, to the point of suicide idolation a weekly battle - I didn't know if I was ready, but I guess with a lot of decisions I do with my life; I jus throw it out there & SWA (See What Appens)

We made a short film, The Enemy Within; & the film ( was entered in WaggaFest short film festival 2014 - we didn't win on the night, but I honestly believe we have saved many lives in the process so the winning tag doesn't matter - the fact that we were later awarded 'People's Choice' due to a vote, means more as its impacted on the broader community. 

Since the release of the film - and my inner story released for everyone to see, it has helped me to become a stronger person, more resilient than ever & like I mentioned saved manyany people from the grips of suicide - makes my SWA choice more rewarding than ever.

I don't ever do anything in the Mental Health space for reward, and at times I even feel guilty, but helping people helps me!!!

since that SWA moment, of exposing a a huge chunk of my volnurabilities, I have interacted and delivered my school based suicide prevention & education programs to thousands individuals across the country from school students, sports clubs, corporates to general chat in the street. 

I am currently part of #TeamRippleAus which is part the global film Suicide:The Ripple Effect (STRE).

STRE is a vision bought to life by San Fran Sisco man Kevin Hines; who survived a suicide attempt by jumping of the Golden Gate Bridge.

#TeamRippleAus will be heading out to Las Vegas to share our stories of hope at the #NatCon16. 

throughout this past 16 months, there has been tears, laughter, many emotions - but I have grown as a person, mentally, emotionally & physically (not in height unfortunately) but most importantly I have met lifelong friends through sharing our journey of hope & at times pain!!!  



It May Battle Me; It Won't Beat Me